CARLISLE UNITED - SATURDAY 23/09/2006

REPORT | IMAGES - GAME | VIDEO
Carlisle is pretty much as far north as you can travel to watch a game of football without being in Scotland. A daunting trip of just under 400 miles was therefore broken up into two stages - the first being the 'Kevin Gall Themed Evening', in honor of Carlisle's great front man. This involved a night of bars and clubs in Manchester, while the Saturday saw us complete the journey and see if the Albion could take anything from the intimidating arena of Brunton Park

We set off at a ludicrous 3.45am on Friday morning. Neil Kane takes over the wheel at the service station Satellite Navigation was making its debut on Crocs on Tour, but we still managed to end up heading south on the M6 at one point
These houses were as Northern as they come, and indicated to us we had arrived in Manchester Kane and Witham debate the best way to smuggle the crate of Strongbow into the Travelodge, with the towel being decided as the best technique
After leaving ridiculously early to explore Manchester, we just waste our time there be sleeping. Kane left this interesting stain on his mattress, which we suspect was urine After exploring Manchester, we fill this bucket with ice to chill the Strongbow in order to play Centurion - one cider shot every minute for one hundred minutes
Kane prepares the crazy apples for the game The room offered suitable facilities for the Crocs
McCarthy looks forward to the prospect of Centurion The apples are chilled, and Kane gets ready to kick things off
Tom Cutting hadn't been involved on a Crocs outing since November 2005, and it was good to have the Crocs favourite hate figure back among the ranks The game ticks along nicely
Kane slowly becomes ruined Cutting is not looking too good

Witham samples the game for the first time And by the end of it, he is in some trouble
Kaney seizes the opportunity to take advantage McCarthy pulls the Bruce, complete with his towel that just reduced apple spillages
Cutting pulls some sort of homosexual pose The empties left from Centurion, as we prepare to paint Manchester pink
The Crocs hit the lift as they make their way to the city centre Our first port of call is Wetherspoons, and Kane is soon banishing Cutting after he managed to break a glass upon entry
McCarthy and Witham are contemplative of the evening that lies in store We bump into a group of West Ham fans, who are also enjoying Manchester ahead of their game with City the following day
We await a taxi that will transport us to our chosen club The red light indicated the door was secured, ensuring we could not get out and run
Ironically, the club was in a road entitled Brighton Place Kane and Witham enjoy their opening pint in this fine venue
Cutting looks to the heavens as he receives a grope Kane is soon hitting the dance floor
McCarthy and Witham show the Northerners how it is done Neil takes a photo of this blonde girl, who knocked back both Cutting and Kane over the course of the evening. McCarthy decided against trying his luck after discovering she was infact Irish
Witham chuckles away at Cuttings feeble attempts to get anywhere with women McCarthy can't believe it either, as his chat up line of "I've got a Travelodge and 3 fellow males" surprisingly proved unfruitful
Slowly the evening descended into disarray and as usual, disgrace We unbelievably find ourselves being confronted by several northerners, probably not impressed by our attitude towards their local Lancashire Cricket Club after Sussex secured the Championship earlier in the day
Kane is once again ruined A disgrace to the good name of the Crocs
Things are beginning to get messy - and Cutting has managed to get himself lost McCarthy and Kane prepare to leave the venue, completely unprepared for what awaits them outside......