IPSWICH TOWN - SATURDAY 15/04/2006

REPORT | VIDEOS
A victory for Sheffield Wednesday, coupled with defeat for Mark McGhee's men at Portman Road would confirm Brighton's relegation to League One. The prospect of trips to Yeovil, Blackpool, and should they gain promotion, the renewment of the 'local derby' with Leyton Orient was on the minds of the Crocs, as they headed east to see whether the Seagulls could prolong the inevitable

Disaster - one of the Dartford tunnels is shut, meaning all the traffic has to cram through one Under the River Thames we go
Potter with traditional blue Powerade McCarthy shows off this weeks cider - Old English

And the guest drink - Reef A town called Witham - this would surely have to be visited on the return journey

We have arrived in Ipswich Tom Witham is delighted as he pilots the Love wagon through this fine town
The stadium comes into view as we park the car Witham and Gemma admire this fine sign post
We were delighted to see the word 'Muff' in large letters within the programme Lunchtime, and it is all you can eat at Pizza Hut
Gemma and Tom enjoy this nutritional meal McCarthy gets a bit carried away with how much pizza he takes

He is soon struggling, but being the health freak he is he manages to polish off the plate Word spreads that the famous Crocs on Tour are in the building, and the Ipswich fans flock to Pizza Hut in a religious worshipping act
"Don't take my photo" says Gemma as she enters the Port The main stand of this fine arena
One of the nice stands behind the goals The other end
Witham strikes a pose that would walk into any edition of Vogue McCarthy is delighted to be in the Port
Potter looks as happy as a child at a Michael Jackson concert If bestiality were legal, this horse would probably get it
Kick off is moments away The teams are on the pitch
Would we see a more arousing kick-off partnership this season - Alan Lee and Darren Currie Ipswich come on the attack
Crocs on Tours favourite player by a good distance - Alan Lee is talked to by the referee Paul McShane soon undergoes the same treatment, although if we were the ref play would be stopped at every opportunity to chat to Paul about sexual acts
"Alan Lee Lee won't you score a goal for me, Alan Lee Lee Lee won't you score a goal for me......" ".....with your left, with your right, with your head or with your knee, Alan Lee Lee Lee won't you score a goal for me"
The Gift puts Brighton 1-0 up McCarthy and Witham play with this penis-shaped baloon
Alan gets ready for the second half This keepers surname was Supple. Cue much sexual innuendo around that word
The game continues with Brighton leading 1-0 The Seagulls attack through a corner
Colin Kazim-Richards cannot believe he has hit the bar after a superb curling effort Joel Lynch scores his first for the club to make it 2-0 to the Albion
But is is soon 2-1, Alan helping to set up the goal with a header. He takes his place for the restart The scoreboard says it all, as the clock ticks away during injury time
But it is game over, as Brighton live to fight another day The players thank the fans for their support, although Mr McGhee disappeared down the tunnel after the game, not wishing to clap the support
McCarthy polishes off the Reef on the way home And the journey wouldn't be complete without visiting Witham Town FC - McCarthy and Witham pose outside
This man saw us outside, and opened the ground to show us around. He was the Witham Town press officer no less! He gives us the history of this arena
Better than Withdean, and it is a Ryman League Division Two stadium, although Witham could well be heading back to the big time of Ryman One via automatic promotion if things go well in their last few games A fine way to finish a fine day