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OXFORD
UNITED V LEWES - TUESDAY 09/01/2007 |
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IMAGES
| VIDEO |
| Following
the postponement of the massive Johnstone Paint
Trophy Semi-Final clash between Brighton and
Bristol City at Ashton Gate, the decision was
taken to continue with the planned Crocs outing
regardless and visit another game - and the
lucky winner was Oxford United v Lewes in the FA
Trophy at the Kassam Stadium. With Oxford 2nd in
the Conference, it was always going to be tough
for our Sussex neighbours, but with the support
of a 5-strong Crocs team, including debutants
Sam Upton and Oliver Wright, they would be
hoping to cause an upset |
| Mode
of Transport: |
Scott
McCarthy was the man to lead this triumphant
exhibition into deepest Oxfordshire, as the
Crocs boarded the Mac Mobile |
| Navigation: |
Things
looked up due to the advent of Satellite
Navigation for the journey, joy turned quickly
to confusion though, as it turned out the device
had a distinct lack of battery. At first hand,
traveling from Portsmouth on A Roads to the
Kassam seemed daunting, but thanks to the good
old AA Map, we had very little trouble in making
the stadium |
| Kit: |
Oxford
wore their famous colours of yellow jerseys,
dark blue shorts and dark blue socks, while
visitors Lewes went for a changed strip of all
sky blue |
| Weather: |
A
strong wind blew through Oxford throughout the
game, although fortunately we did not experience
any of the rain that hampered the journey |
| Facilities: |
Delightful.
Hot food on all corners, and a large shopping
centre outside including a Bowling Facility,
that unfortunately we did not take up. Only a
life size, edible statue of United legend Joey
Beachump outside could of made it any better.
9/10 |
| Stadium
Rating: |
By
far and away the best ground you are going to
find in the non-league circuit, which may have
something to do with the fact that building of
it commenced when Oxford were still a
Championship club. 3 stands, all seated with
decent facilities allowed for a fine day. 9/10 |
| Food
Rating: |
The
normal standard of food you would expect to find
in a football league stadium, including the
Crocs favourite of the lubricated penis hot dog.
7/10 |
| Entertainment: |
Nothing
0/10 |
| Player
who stood out: |
With
Oxford United fielding a "whos who" of
footballing Gods, there were always going to be
a number of players who stood out. Anyone with
skill, flair and hair like Rufus Brevett is
obviously going to make a mark on a game, and
needless to say he reeked of sheer sexualness.
Despite not having much to do, seeing Rushden
legend Billy Turley between the sticks in a
dashing grey number was enough to have the blood
running to any sane mans penis, and for Lewes
the big number 6, who despite being around 8
foot tall did not win one header all day. |
| Friendliness
of Locals: |
Delightfully
friendly. Even when one of them became attacked
with Wrights burger wrapper, they were not
phased. Stewards were also delightful to be
around, going to all ends to assist with the
erection of the flag. 8/10 |
| Standard
of Local Females: |
Wonderful.
Despite the Universities probably not being back
yet, there were no end of attractive young women
around the ground, including a group of French
students. 8/10 |
| Flag
Attention: |
The
flag gained a lot of attention, despite erection
problems for the second game running. After
tieing it at the top of the stand, during which
McCarthy was 'lowered' by his ankles onto the
segregation mat, we decided to move it to the
bottom along with the other Lewes flags.
Forgetting ties, we improvised by using shoe
laces, and the pink seagull would naturally gain
attention at a match in which no Seagulls were
present. 9/10 |
| Match
Report: |
Despite
Oxford being favorites for this game, they had
to settle for the win via a controversial first
half penalty, as Lewes did themselves proud
against their illustrious opponents, and nearly
managed to take the game to extra time with
several chances towards the end, which
unfortunately, they were unable to put away |
| Thought
of the Day: |
Harping
back to the days when magazines used to have
free sweets and other items attached to them, we
wondered why the Oxford programme didn't attach
a free test tube of Jim Smiths sperm to each
programme, as sales would no doubt go through
the roof |
