OXFORD UNITED V LEWES - TUESDAY 09/01/2007

REPORT | VIDEO
Following the postponement of the massive Johnstone Paint Trophy Semi-Final clash between Brighton and Bristol City at Ashton Gate, the decision was taken to continue with the planned Crocs outing regardless and visit another game - and the lucky winner was Oxford United v Lewes in the FA Trophy at the Kassam Stadium. With Oxford 2nd in the Conference, it was always going to be tough for our Sussex neighbours, but with the support of a 5-strong Crocs team, including debutants Sam Upton and Oliver Wright, they would be hoping to cause an upset

McCarthy at the wheel as we make our way to Lancing to pick up Crocs debutant Sam Upton Potter looking forward to losing his Kassam stadium virginity
This fine specimen had no doubt just finished her dinner ladying duties at a local school Upton looks nervous as he sets foot in the Mac Mobile for the first time
The inspiring sight of Arundel castle appears through the mist After picking Witham and Oli Wright up from their University base of Portsmouth, we arrive at the Kassam
Witham looks ecstatic to be mere metres away from where Andy Crosby once plyed his trade Upton is so happy his face has grown a lump on one side
Potter does not look too happy, but this maybe due to the fact that he had no interest in coming all the way to Oxford for an FA Trophy clash Wright is delighted however, as he makes his Crocs debut
McCarthy is on his knees in prayer, which is quite suitable seeing as the Kassam is often considered to be the Mecca of the Non-League world The Crocs look almost biblical as the lights of heaven on earth shine down on them
Potter looks unhappy, as Witham attempts to kiss a poster of the women playing his mother in a new film about the life and times of Elaine Potter Inside the stadium, and Potter takes advantage of the urinal facilities

Wright also has to relieve himself of urine While Witham desperately attempts to avoid the camera as he goes
Unfortunately, his desperation would result in urination all over his foot garments Although he refused to take the blame for this puddle
The flag has been left untreated since Bournemouth, which meant no ties were fitted to it. Improvising, each Croc donates a shoe lace to the cause It is proving more difficult than first thought to get the flag onto the segregation mat, due to the high winds. McCarthy decides to cut a hole with his keys to allow tieing positions
Witham once again has nothing to do with the shambolic work, lead by flag bearer Potter Eventually, she is in place
The Lewes team go through a thorough warm up before the game Witham, complete with homosexual scarf, is ready for the game
Potter has livened up somewhat following his subdued display in the car Upton is excited as any man could be when it is announced Brighton legend Simon Wormwull is wearing number 9 for Lewes
Wright is delighted to be watching a match of such calibre McCarthy in expectant mood
This end is more commonly known as the Kop of the Conference The lights create a force-field like effect in this image
The stadium was completed by one empty end, with some nice fencing rumored to have been bought at a local Homebase They say bigger is not always better, and this flag was living prove as it really was in the shadow of the Crocs effort
The scoreboard flashes up the name of one of the greatest men to pull on the Brighton and Hove Albion shirt The teams enter this arena, ready to do battle for a place in the next round of the FA Trophy
You can only imagining the fiddling that is going on inside that huddle The Lewes fans have come in their numbers for the game
The nations press have also gathered in their hundreds for today's encounter This physio looked remarkably like Richard O'Brien, but alas it appeared that he did not have a harmonica on him
Oxford take the lead through a disputed penalty One of the home sides forwards went down easier than a prostitute, and here he has earnt his side another free-kick
If it wasn't for the roll appearing in this picture, serious questions would have to be asked about what exactly McCarthy held in his hand Despite this, it did taste rather good
Rushden and Diamonds legend, and the John Travolta of the football world, Billy Turley Crocs on Tour favourite Rufus Brevett involved in more controversy
This Lewes fan was attractive, as the Crocs flag can be seen blowing around in the background This corner flag blowing around was indication of the tornado-like conditions in Oxford
After collecting the flag, it is time to relace our shoes - thankfully Witham is somewhat of an expert in this area, as can be seen by the way he works with McCarthys shoe bondage device Ten minutes to one, and we are just approaching Worthing, which just begged the question why?
McCarthy is feeling sleepy, and falls asleep at a roundabout Unbelievably, the day ends with the Crocs first brush with the law, as McCarthy is pulled over for a check and receives this from a charming officer of the law