Another week began, and another hangover was evident for myself following last nights ludicrous consumption of 15 cans of beer. I decided to walk this off by exploring the capital city of Ottawa, wandering around the parliament buildings and then heading down to check out the supreme court and the war memorial. I decided that in order to fully appreciate the workings of Canadian government, I would tour the parliament tomorrow and allow myself the day off. This meant I returned to the hostel to take advantage of the free internet. Myself and Iain soon dominated the television once again, watching The Matrix before joining some other chaps for a pub crawl. Luckily, consumption was low, and this was not aided by our final bar not allowing us in due to the fact that an Austrian chap had a paper driving license, and they would not except it. This was particularly strange as they would except my driving license, and both were issued by the European Union. This infuriate Austrian Alex, who for some reason then decided to take his anger out by knocking a sign over outside. An angry man in a kilt was soon on the scene, putting him in what can only be described as an arm lock, before a police threat saw us move onto the traditional end of the evening venue of McDonalds for a fine Big Mac and bed

The Rideau Canal, which when frozen over in the winter allows people to ice skate from end of the city to the other as an alternative mode of transport	The Canadian House of Parliament
This flame never goes out, and is supplied by oil from Alberta	A poor mans Big Ben really
The Canadian Supreme Court	The cities war memorial

A tour of the parliament buildings was in order today, which was rather novel in the fact it was free. It involved going through airport like security at the start however, which I instantly placed in the ridiculous category. The tour involved the history of the building, viewing both the House of Commons and the Senate, and a delightful library. While it was not as impressive as Westminster, it was refreshing to see that our fine countries great democratic house has been copied in terms of layout and color by our Canadian cousins. The only negative of the tour was the stereotypical wog who decided to take photos of everything, and as such had no control over their little brat who spent the whole time running around and screaming. After completing the tour, I climbed The Peace Tower, or the poor mans Big Ben if you prefer, where the names of every single person who has died during military service for Canada is kept in a set of books. After the tour, I headed back to the hostel to join Iain and watch the Canadian Grand Prix, where a little bit of history was made as Lewis Hamilton won his first ever race. The evening was spent with four cans of beer and the NBA finals, as the Spurs took a 2-0 lead, before heading to bed for my last night of sleep in the capital

The Canadian House of Commons	A statue of Queen Victoria inside the library
The Senate - the Candaian version of the House of Lords	Looking across the city to the Supreme Court
The St Lawrence River divides the provinces of Quebec and Ontario, so the other side was full of French speakers and poutine	Looking down over the city

Monday saw me back on the bus, with our first port of call being a training centre for horses that are used by the Canadian Mounties. We were treated to the history of the Mounties, got to view some of their horses, which in a shockingly racist move were all black, and had some mad cap women who claimed to be a former Mountie going on about her life in the force, and soon became known as the classic definition of a women who doesn't know when to shut up. Bus drive Mike somehow managed to escape after being cornered. From here, it was onto one of the most eagerly anticipated parts of the trip - the bungee jump. On arrival, I paid my money and looked up to the platform 200 feet above a shimmering blue lake in a former quarry. The butterflies began to build, alongside a sense of excitement. Rain, thunder and lightning soon began over the area, and I began to regret having my photo with that statue of Jesus last week. The anxiety heightened as I reached the top of the platform, and I was due to be the second to jump. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, as Mexican Joe jumped, and a sense of determination came over me. As it was my turn, I strode to the edge, put my toes over and made the classic error of looking down into the lake. As the countdown began from 5, a similar occurrence to that of the Sky dive occurred, as a random movie quote popped into my head, this time from the Full Monty when discussing ways to commit suicide - "a bungee jump without the bungee". Chuckling to myself, I looked up, threw the people on the ground the Jeff Hardy Swanton Bomb signal, and jumped for it. At first it felt as though I was floating in the air, then wham, I was hurtling towards the lake, before without feeling anything I began to fly gently upwards. I found it quite amazing how I was unable to feel the rope, until the end when I was left dangling in the air, until picked up by a boat. After the excitement, I experienced a headache as the blood poured out of my head again, as we headed towards Fort Cologne, to a remote hostel on the banks of the St Lawrence River. This chaotic and adrenaline packed day ended with a few beers, a beautiful sunset of orange and purple over the river, and a crystal clear sky to pick out the stars. It was the true definition of the term 'Marvelous Scenes'

This black horse is being trained for use by the Mounties	McCarthy is somewhere on the end of that rope
Falling 200 feet into a quary	McCarthy dangles, about to be picked up by the boat
Safely off of the bungee	A beautiful sunset over the St Lawrence River
Unfortunately, the river was bloody cold when we attempted to go swimming in it

A 7am rise today was in order for a 7.45am meeting about the days activity - white water rafting. After the meeting, we boarded a traditional Canadian yellow school bus and headed for the starting position. My main concern did not feature around the fact I generally tend to swim like an absolute flid, but was to avoid being sea sick. The instructor decided a good idea to cure me of my tired and slightly hungover state would be to get us all in the water as quickly as possible, and he did this at the second rapid by succeeding in tipping the boat and sending everyone into the water. Not panicking, I experienced the full joy of a lifejacket for the first time in my life and floated back up to the boat. Somehow, I did not fall out when tackling what can only be described as a small waterfall. I would only fall out once more, on the most dangerous rapid in which we had to attempt to steer the boat between a small gap at exactly the point when the waves rescinded. We managed this, but myself and Mike toppled out of the boat due to our position of being perched at the front of the boat. The provided lunch of chicken wraps, of which I had four, was delightful. Once the days activites were over, we left Fort Cologne and headed off to a Madawaska, a small village, deep in the Algonquin National Park. Here we met hostel owner Brian, who was around 7 foot tall and ran the place with three attractive French girls. Myself and Iain then spent the evening playing darts, drinking beer and watching the Spurs go 3-0 up in the NBA Finals

Wednesday would see myself and Iain joined by two others on a camping trip into the Algonquin Park. Brian soon supplied us with the equipment we would need for the trip, which was made up of cooking utensils, a tent and sleeping equipment, a hacksaw and a water purifier. We soon met the couple who would be accompanying us - Joe and Betty, and somehow I resisted the temptation to do any kind of Frank Spencer related impression. After a twenty minute drive to the lake, during which myself and Iain purchased a crate of beer and I bought my third pair of sunglasses of the trip, we boarded our canoe and sailed out to find a place to camp. After 30 minutes of canoeing, we found a nice little island and got to work at setting up camp, in a Ray Mears style fashion. I decided to head out with the hacksaw and cut down some fire wood, before applying insect repellent to keep the little bastards away. Mine and Iain's tent was erected in surprisingly easy fashion, and the next task was cooling the beer - which we did by attaching the bag the crate was in to a tree, and allowing it to chill out in the lake. Due to wanting to travel light on the excursion, I had not even bought a spare set of clothes with me, let alone swimming shorts. This meant enjoying a dip in the lake wearing nothing, and after 30 minutes I exited the lake, with the insecticide having being washed off and was promptly bitten to shit. Protecting the key area of my genitals, I ran back to the camp and applied as much insecticide as possible. After this, I made another classic error of falling asleep, which resulted in chronic sunburn. Myself and Iain got the fire going, before Joe came out and decided it wasn't good enough, so dismantled it, meaning another hours wait for food. At this point, I would have taken great pleasure in rearranging his face. We finally ate at around 9.30, before sharing ghost stories around the camp fire, as the sound of wolves cries echoed around in the darkness. The sky was as clear as I ever have or am likely to see due to our position a good 20 miles from civilisation with no pollution in the air. Before heading to bed, we were forced into taking the bear precautions we had been warned about earlier to keep them away from the camp, but I still slept with the hacksaw next to me just to be safe, as the sound of mosquitoes, crickets and the occasional wolf howled around us 

The canoes that allowed us to access the remote island	McCarthy and Iains crate of beer, safely chilling in the lake thanks to a long piece of rope and a tree
Iain adds the final touches to the erection of our tent	The early stages of our fire
A chipmunk eating something	Sunset descends over the Algonquin Park
McCarthy serves up some delightful sausages that surprisingly did not result in food poisoning	Sunset over the wilderness
The campfire rages, and was soon drawing the attention of wolves on other islands as they howled at the light

A 7.45am start to dismantle the camp and being our row back to meet Brian saw us arrive back at the hostel in time for a long long shower, which was a huge relief after being in the same clothes for 24 hours through our camping experience. We then began the long journey back to Toronto with several stops on the way, including an old fire tower that was used to spot forest fires that allowed fine views over the park. After this, Mike stopped at a venue that he announced did the best burgers in the world. Being a connoisseur of unhealthy food, I decided to test his theory, and was soon delighted to group it in the top bracket as one of the best burgers I have ever had in my entire life. After arriving back in Toronto, two weeks after departing, I settled for a quiet night in with a few Steam Whistle beers and some television

Another group photo on the top of the Moose Bus	Looking over the Algonquin Park from the fire tower
Nothing but forest for miles around	A fine unspoiled area of the world

An early morning call to British Airways was about as useful as a pair of trainers for a man with one leg, as they informed me I would have to contact my travel agents in order to change my flight. With this disapointment ringing in my ears, and suprisingly delivered by an English lady as opposed to an Indian call centre, I headed off to the internet cafe for a brief session, before heading to the one place on earth I had yearned for more than any in the last two weeks - the Irish Embassy. Once settled in my usual position at the bar, I enjoyed five pints of refreshing Magners before heading off to the Skydome to see the Blue Jays in action once again - this time with a 7-2 victory over the Washington Nationals, with designated hitter (a man who doesn't field, and is just paid to hit the ball as a batter) failing to hit once again. After the game, my urge to make up for two weeks without Magners saw me go for another three pints in the Embassy before heading back to the hostel. From here, I purchased my ticket for the Toronto FC game on Sunday, before watching some television and heading to bed to complete my seventh week in Canada

CANADA TOUR

MAC INDUSTRIES HOME