My tenth week in Canada was a day of more driving, as we would be heading off to Sarnia, on the American border where we would be staying with Hollys Grandmother for the Canada Day celebrations. More excitingly was the fact that Hollys Gran was German, and not only did she live in Nazi Germany, but her husband was a pilot in the Luftwaffe. The two hour drive offered no complications, and on our arrival in Sarnia we headed for McDonalds, before arriving at the flat. It overlooked the river that separated Canada and America, which ensured spitting on America was very nearly possible. Our arrival saw us ushered instantly into the kitchen, where Strawberries and cream were served. Holly then took me to explore the local farm, where we saw a plethora of animals that you were able to pet, before witnessing goat rape, which soon lead to a fight between two young goats. On our return to the flat, we were offered veil and pasta, which was one of the nicest meals since my arrival in the country. The evening finished with us watching two DVD's - Death of the President, and Daddys Little Girls, before heading to bed ahead of the following days Canada Day celebrations

I was intrigued to see what Canada Day was all about, and after waking up rather late myself and Holly headed over to the park to check out the entertainment. Several food tents were on offer, a large band, military displays and everybody wearing something red to celebrate - with no second thought given to upsetting immigrants, Muslims and non-Canadians like myself. It filled me with a sense of jealousy in that these people could display pride at their country, and also a sense of pride that they stood up for their country, as opposed to having to hide any form of national pride incase it upsets others. After this exploration, we headed to a burger van down on the riverside, before heading off to a park to watch a Battle of the Bands. This was surprisingly good, and we soon headed back to the flat, where I enjoyed an afternoon nap before successfully locking myself in the bathroom. With no seeming way out, I was trapped for around 20 minutes before being released from this prison of toiletries. We then headed off to watch the fireworks display, the second biggest in the country behind Ottawa's. The display was proceeded with a number of tribute bands on stage playing classic hits from the 70s and 80s. At around 10.30, we settled ourselves on the beach and enjoyed arguably the best fireworks display I have seen in my life, before heading back to the flat to watch some television and catch up on some much needed sleep in my last night in Sarnia

This man was so drunk he fell off his chair, much to the amusement of McCarthy and Holly	It was good to see the food outlet offering a Hot Hamburger as opposed to a cold one
McCarthy not having a jumper meant he had to borrow this stylish number that once belonged to Hollys father	The fireworks display that rounded off a wonderful Canada Day 2007

After managing to avoid not getting locked in any toilets, we headed back to Woodstock. Not wanting to be sat in the car for two hours due to the sheer heat that the sun was exhibiting on the day, I decided to implement British speed and cut the journey by 45 minutes. On our return we headed to Amanda's house, where some dance mat was played, before going to the pool hall where I easily defeated Holly once again. We then viewed Epic Movie, before spending the evening cruising around town. Joy soon turned to confussion though, when the police began tailing the car. Instantly, I panicked, and began driving as if it was my test all over, which ensured that after 15 minutes they could not pull me over and as such gave up. After going around 20 miles out of our way, we finally arrived back at Woodstock, and returned to Hollys house where I had a poor nights sleep ahead of my final day in Woodstock

My final day here had somewhat of a party feel about it, as the prospect of drinking this evening was one I looked forward to. Breaking from my perceived position as a tight git, I purchased the alcohol for the nights festivities, consisting of a big bottle of JD for the ladies, and five cans of Stella for myself. After enjoying a movie and some more pool in the afternoon, we began drinking at 11pm once Amanda had finished work. We headed for a well furnished play area to enjoy the fine evening and some beers. We were soon joined by the local police, who despite the content of alcohol in my bag somehow came to the conclusion that we weren't drinking - and this was soon put down to my British charm. The officer soon got chatting, and he revealed he used to live in England, before being joined by another group of youths. Most amusing of these was a bad headed chap called Jason, whom took a great deal of pride in reeling off a list of people he had beaten up in the past. He was alongside his cousin, who was a monstrosity of of a women, who asked the question: "What does it matter if I have two kids by the time I'm 20?" I somehow managed to bite my tongue from spilling the words "slag, whore, and contraception" before questioning what responsible mother goes drinking in a park. We soon went to the local Tim Horton's, before going back to the twenty year olds house that she shared with her boyfriend. Here, nothing occurred, and her reluctance to give me a beer in exchange for the amount of my JD she had had soon got my quite angered, and we eventually managed to leave. We then headed to another park, where Jason tried to put me in a headlock to prove how tough he was, and this was easily countered with the use of a DDT, and me pinning him down, shattering any illusions of his tough guy image. The slag then had the nerve to announce that if there was no beer, she was going home, and so in the politest way possible I told her to fuck off as there was a crate in her kitchen. With 4am approaching, we headed back to Hollys house, and I finally got to sleep at around 6am for my last 4 hours of sleep in Woodstock

Family dog Tess was naturally a big fan of McCarthy	This Nazi sign was wonderfully painted under the bridge that lead over the Railroad track - which in true North American fashion, we walked along

Arising at 10am, I was pleasantly surprised to find Holly already up. After packing my equipment, we began the twenty minute walk to the bus station in what can only be described as torrential rain - a fitting way for me to make my departure from Woodstock, reminiscent of the tears that were no doubt spilt by all the locals. I bid farewell to Holly, thanking her for her hospitality and exclaiming that I hoped we would meet again one day. I then boarded the Greyhound for the three hour trip back to Toronto, were I was looking forward to the hustle and bustle of city life again. After arriving back in the city, I dumped my stuff at the hostel, and concocted a meal that is best described as awful. With this in mind, I ventured once again to Pizza Pizza, before spending a night infront of the television watching CSI

A late start on Thursday saw me head to the internet cafe to check developments and to see if I could take in the massive cricket test match between Canada and United Arab Emirates. Unfortunately, the countries enthusiasm towards cricket being on a par with the Germans towards Nazis ensured that I struggled to find any information about it, and as such decided to write the idea off. Then, it was time to do what I had longed for all week - yes, it was back to the Irish Embassy, where I enjoyed two of the Under 20 World Cup games, being held in Canada, alongside 7 pints of Magners. I also became involved in a heated debate with a chap over the state of the English National Team, before heading back to the hostel via Pizza Pizza for an early morning television run of South Park, King of the Hill and excitingly Little Britain, before heading to bed

I was unsure how this man was planning to cram an entire broadsheet newspaper through the small 'paper' slot in this recycling unit	McCarthy in the Irish Embassy feeling slightly worse for wear

Another late rise for my last day of this brief stop in Toronto saw me questioning what to do. Breakfast at the hostel was soon written off due to a blocked toilet flooding the kitchen, so I headed to Subway. I then decided to head to the Scotiabank Theatre and catch a movie, with my choice being License to Wed, starring Robin Williams. The film was your averagely disapointing Romantic Comedy, but the day was not a waste as I caught the eye of several fit girls, although this later transpired to be due to the large amount of ketchup that my hotdog had excreted onto me. I cleaned myself up before heading for the underground city in an attempt to find a KFC, and when I did it was rather Jewishly closed. I therefore neglected dinner, and headed straight off to the Skydome, where the Blue Jays picked up an 8-6 victory over the Cleveland Indians. A Pizza Pizza was then taken for dinner, before I enjoyed the evenings WWE Smackdown followed by bed, as tomorrow I would be embarking on a two day bus journey to Halifax, which would see me having traveled coast-to-coast across Canada

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