McCarthy in Canada

Week thirteen began with my last day in Nova Scotia. I enjoyed one final cook breakfast on the delightful island, before Barb drove us into Digby. Here, we sorted out the oven farce from last week when she managed to purchase the correct element for the cooking device, and she also purchased me a going away present of a peg logic game, which needless to say I was able to complete easily thanks to my intelligence. We then arrived at the ferry port, where I purchased my tickets and we said our goodbyes in which I thanked her for my 10 day stay. I then boarded the ferry for the three hour crossing to Saint John New Brunswick. The journey passed in no time thanks to the movie showed on the boat, and on arrival in Saint John I decided to go against all advice and attempt to walk to the motel where I would be spending the night. After 20 minutes, in which I became extremely fatigued due to my luggage and the heat, I gave up on walking and flagged down a taxi to take me to my place of rest. The motel was delightful, and the owner instantly struck me as a man of intelligence as he reeled off his own traveling adventures. I spent an hour wandering around the streets of Saint John and taking in what it had to offer, before enjoying some television and falling to sleep in the comforts of my four poster bed

Part of my night in the motel included a full English breakfast, which went down an absolute treat. With the walk to the bus station being slightly ludicrous, I managed to convince the owner to give me a lift to it, which he was happy to do, and he also took great delight in pointing out all the sights on the way. I then bid him a fond farewell, and boarded the Greyhound, a bus as opposed to a dog, for the 29 hour bus trip back to Toronto - my last traveling of the trip. A three hour stop was taken in Fredericton, so I took the time to deposit my bag at the bus station before embarking on a mission. I eventually finished this mission, which entailed finding a bookshop with the final Harry Potter book on sale, although this was once again only down to Google maps and the use of WAP. I then spent the next 8 hours of the journey reading the book, before another change was taken. After this change, I caught up on some sleep before we arrived in Montreal at 1.30am. With a 6 hour wait until my connecting bus to Toronto, I set about completing the book, and finished it at around 5am. I then caught another hours worth of sleep, before boarding my final Greyhound of the journey for the drive to Toronto

The 7.30am departure from Montreal allowed myself and my fellow passengers to catch up on some much needed sleep, although this was largely interrupted by my sneezing fit. I eventually gained 4 hours worth, before arrival back in Toronto saw me head for my usual hostel. My incredible vision and foresight meant that I hadn't actually booked in, and this proved to bite me in the arse when it was revealed the place was full. 15 minutes later I arrived at another hostel, where I managed to secure a bed until Saturday. My first port of call was the internet cafe to regain touch with society, before heading to the cinema where I enjoyed Harry Potter - and Emma Watson - in all its 3d glory thanks to the Imax screen. I then purchased 2 slices of pizza before heading back to the hostel for an early night in order to catch up on some sleep following my 29 hour journey


Toronto's fantastically challenging 8 lane motorway	The CN Tower looking very bright from outside my new hostel

A sufficient Tuesday morning lay in had my sufficiently refreshed from my lack of sleep throughout the last 48 hours. I therefore spent today doing very little, which mainly involved going to the internet cafe where I spoke to Peter Chapman and Dan Collin for the first time in three months thanks to the medium of Skype, with which we made many prank calls. In the evening, I headed off to the Skydome for my first taste of baseball in nearly two weeks, as the Blue Jays destroyed the Minnesota Twins 9-1. Dustin McGowan pitched another superb innings, and as such I decided to sculpt my collection of facial hair into his traditional country western sideburns as a tribute. I then squeezed a tub of toothpaste onto some unsuspecting customers on the patio below, before going to bed ahead of a heavy day of drinking with Aston Villa in town


The Dustin McGowan sideburns tribute	A tube of toothpaste combined with.....

An open window and a patio of unsuspecting people below	Chaos was about to ensure

Whacking on my Brighton shirt to support our English cousins Aston Villa in their match this evening with Toronto, I headed off to the Irish Embassy for 2pm in order for the traditional pre-game drinks. This saw me consume 7 pints of Magners, before heading off to the BMO Field. The train journey there saw me narrowly avoid some Toronto hooligans, which was humorous in itself, before entering the stadium and enjoying another beer and a pizza. I soon struck up conversation with a Villa fan, whose Brummie accent made him near-impossible to understand. I soon managed to pick out the key Villa players, and decided to target Marlon Harewood as my hate figure for the game. Given me inebriated state, I took the decision to remain on the beer patio for the game as opposed to attempting to find my seat. Thankfully, I was joined by Villa fans who, like myself, found the concept of drinking beer and watching a game at the same time novel. This aided in the belting out of God Save The Queen which was particularly emotional. Despite an injury to Thomas Sorensen, Villa cruised the first half and were 2-0 up. In the second half Toronto pulled it back to 2-2, but then the legend that is John Carew sprung into action with a goal, as the game ended 4-2 to Villa, with a hat-trick from Luke Moore. Feeling happy with the English domination, I headed for my pizza dinner followed by 2 pints of Steam Whistle at the hostel bar, before heading to bed having consumed 10 pints and knowing that the following days hangover was going to be interesting


Thomas Sorenson looking practically edible in his yellow kit	The BMO Field was excited about the visit of a Premiership side

Gareth Barry in all his glory	Toronto skipper for the night and ex-Rotherham legend Carl Robinson

Toronto attack with a corner	John Carews rear

This foolish Toronto player has a go at the mammoth John	Villa attack with a corner

Toronto searching to take something from the game	The scoreboard tells the final story

Thursday saw me decide to elevate the hangover with the fabulous substance of Gatorade, a technique that never fails, alongside a Subway. I then headed off to the internet cafe, for another session on Skype where many more prank calls were made. After a long time spent doing this, which helped clear my hungover state, before heading to the cinema to watch I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, the humorous story of two firemen who get a civil partnership for tax evasion purposes. As usual, I completed the evening with a pizza, with which I recieved a free drink from the sales assistant due to me being British, before heading back to the hostel for a decent nights sleep following yesterdays alcohol-filled poor quality one

Friday was another day in which I had planned to do nothing, as tomorrow I would be returning to my usual hostel, and as now was becoming traditional I began with a Subway and a visit to the internet cafe. Another Skype session was held, including the ordering of a sex change for Mark Potter. After these shenanigans ended, I headed off to the Irish Embassy once again, were I enjoyed two pints of Magners, before heading back to the cinema for a second viewing of Harry Potter, to compare the normal version to that in Imax as opposed to seeing Emma Watson again. Satisfied, I then headed to bed safe in the knowledge that tomorrow I would be back in the more familiar surroundings of my normal hostel


WEEK TWELVE	WEEK FOURTEEN