The second week of my Canadian Tour would see me continue through the Rocky Mountains, the Columbia Icefields and into my second province, of Alberta, before returning to Vancouver. As was becoming customary now, the day saw us view many lakes and waterfalls, including Lake Louise, which was recently voted the best in the world by National Geographic, as we made our way into the Jasper national park. As we headed deeper into the mountains, so the snow became deeper, especially as we neared the Columbia Icefields. The glacier we were due to hike to was so big that it could fit every person in North America on it, a fact which I found quite flabbergasting at the time. Here, the snow was so deep that as you walked, people would literally disappear down to their waste in it. At first this seemed like great fun, but it wasn't long until joy really did come to confusion, when it was my turn to sink. My right leg submerged its entire length into the white stuff, and as I pulled it out I was shocked to see that my shoe had become left behind in the snow. Realising the situation, I attempted to pull the footwear out, only to succeed in burying it further into the snow. Being the tough Brit that I am, I made the grave error of not wearing any gloves despite the cold, and stupidly I wasn't even wearing a coat, settling for a woolen over garment instead. Naturally, as I dug, my hands began to numb, until they reached the point by which they actually turned blue. Realising the trouble that the only Minor Celebrity on his tour was in, guide Nolan rescued the shoe, and I continued the hike with a numb hand and an even number foot. After our hike, we headed off to a log cabin in the Jasper wilderness, on which journey we would go onto see the first bear of the trip, as it darted across the road infront of the coach. In our log cabin, we settled down for a delightful spaghetti dinner, before spending the night around the campfire, watching the stars and telling ghost stories, with nothing but the sounds of nature, a crate of beer and a bottle of port for comfort.

Despite the depth of this snow, it would still not be enough to cover Peter Crouch	This is the Natural Bridge, and has been caused by many years of errosion
A strange looking mountain	In the Mountains
McCarthy at the beautiful Lake Louise	Moments before McCarthy would lose his shoe in the Columbia Icefields
A group photo on top of the bus in the Icefield. Note McCarthys toughness with not even a coat. Drinking partner Aussie Heath is doing some homo erotic pose on the far right	The Columbia Icefields in all their glory
The toilet at the log cabin in Jasper was a "long drop", which translates to hole in the ground, as can be seen by the amount of excrement in the photo	The campfire in Jasper

Another hungover wake up saw us head back to Banff, and the journey again took in several sights. One of these included another hike through snow to a frozen lake, and this time I took things more carefully in order to avoid any sort of lost footwear occurring again - especially as this time the snow was so deep it would of buried Peter Crouch in his entirety. It also lead to a horrendous snow ball fight, during which my victory thanks to a position taken under a bank resulted in a rugby tackle from Heath, which saw me sink and nearly buried alive in the snow, but I put this violent nature down to his criminal background. On arrival in Banff, we headed to the natural springs, where hot water appears from the ground. Following a soak in this unusual way, a night on the town was in order, as it was ¢25 a beer night in a fine club called Auroa. My reputation did once again proceed me, as a random Canadian claimed to know me and proceeded to purchase two whiskey shots for myself. The evening finished on scotch and lemonade, a tipple I was unaware could be quite so pleasing on the tongue. Myself and Heath ended the evening in McDonalds, thanks to the fantastic Canadian ideal of having them open 24 hours, before heading back slightly merry

Even the snow had been shaped into a tribute to McCarthys genitalia	The group stands next to a fine waterfall
McCarthy and Heath take the sensible option of chasing these rams during a toilet break	A typically busy road carves its way through the mountains
A brown bear pops up to say hello	Having a fairground punching bag in a club in England would no doubt cause all manner of problems

Sleeping the majority of the next days journey on the bus was enough to clear the lingering hangover that may have remained with me, and our first port of call was a canyon. Unfortunately, the path to get there was notoriously tretcherous, and not helped in the slightest with all the ice that was on it. This provided much amusement, as several people nearly fell through the barriers, and would have plunged into the water below. Luckily, Nolan was on the ball and managed to save at least two people on the walk, which caused me great amusement. The afternoon was spent kayaking in a lake on our arrival in Revelstoke, and my generally poor record with regards to boats came back to haunt me, although somehow I managed to remain in the boat as opposed to falling out at any point. However, my cause was not helped by the set-up for my kayak being wrong, which I took as rather flattering as the women obviously thought I weigh less than I do. Eventually though, I was able to get going at pace, although my failure to stop the boat, or even turn it with much success did prove somewhat hazardous at times. A BBQ was then enjoyed at the nights accomodation, during which I devoured two undercooked sausages, before watching the recently-released Spiderman 3 in Revelstoke's small cinema

The waterfall and canyon that proved to be a death trap	Another beautiful mountain, which was equally beautifully reflected in the lake below it
McCarthy in the kayak he surprisingly did not fall out of	Kayaking in the Rocky Mountains

Today saw us continue on our way back to Vancouver, with the destination being Kelowna. After stopping for lunch by a lake, I succeeded in injuring myself once again, this time through a game of Soccerball when I twisted my ankle. The pain was soon washed away however by a visit to a vineyard for some wine tasting. Unfortunately, the wine left a lot to be desired, but its strength soon released any pain that was trapped in my damaged ankle. After arrival in Kelowna, we headed for the beach, where volleyball and frisbe were played. After this, we spent the evening enjoying a salmon BBQ, where I discovered that I actually like salmon, having always been under the impression I don't. After this bizarre event, we headed into the town for a few beers, which was cut short by a loud mouthed Aussie women. This however proved to be a blessing in disguise, as it allowed me to have a clear head and not be hungover for tomorrows skydiving exploits

The vineyard overlooking a fine lake

The final day of the tour was met with a twinge of sadness, which was soon overcome with nerves and a sense of excitement. We began by visiting the original sight of the Trans-Canadian railway, a set of tunnels that were blasted into the mountains to serve the rail link. Unfortunately, the treacherous route was soon abandoned, and now all that remains is the tunnels, in which the first Rambo movie was filmed. From here, we proceeded to an air field, where I would be embarking on my first, and probably last, skydive. After parting with my $200, I settled back and listened to some man speak with an incredibly dodgy accent about what we would be doing. As we boarded the plane, the nerves began to build, and as I looked out the window at the ground below, it seemed too far away. Eventually, I was tapped on the shoulder, and maneuvered into position, so my legs would be ready to jump out of the plane at 15000 feet. Looking down, my thoughts consisted of "Oh god", but before anything could happen, I managed to trip, and fell out of the plane spinning, screaming and thinking "wow". After what seemed like an eternity of hurtling towards the ground at an alarming pace, with my ears watering like buggery, the chute finally opened, and we gracefully fell to earth, where I was able to perform a near-perfect landing. With my head still spinning and the beginnings of a head ache coming on, we eventually returned to Vancouver, where the tour was to end, and I settled for an early night in the hostel, still dreaming of falling through the sky 

The original railway tunnels in the mountains	This bridge was blown up in the first Rambo Movie
McCarthy poses ahead of his first near-death experience of the tour	The four people who would be jumping out of the plane today
McCarthy and the lovely Dane Anja prepare to go up	The plane heads for the sky
McCarthy is out, and luckily there is no parachute failure	The descent went without a hitch
McCarthy waves to the fans on the ground	About to embark on the perfect landing
Which ended up in a photo that could cause all kinds of controversy	McCarthy shakes hand with the man who had the honor of being attached to his back
All the biggest celebrities have Skydived at this venue, including The Rock

After the excitement of the previous day, today was a pretty basic day. I began by moving out of the hostel I had spent the night in, across the road to the one I was in previously in Vancouver. This was due to its superior facilities, and the fact it was next to the pizza shop I had become oh so fond of on my last visit to the city. I completed my laundry, before purchasing the second pair of sunglasses of the trip so far after managing to lose the last ones after a total of four days. After exploring the plethora of shops in the city, I ended the day in the hostel watching movies with some interesting chaps - one Austrian man who was exactly like Hans from the Mighty Ducks it was uncanny, one from South Africa whose views on Apartheid were simply breathtaking, and a Mexican chap who had recently stopped drugs due to being of 35 years of age

If smokings bad, MMMMMKAY, why is Mr Garrison and not Mr Mackay saying it?

The end of my second week in Canada would again follow the same basic principle of yesterday, in terms of the do bugger all stakes. More shopping was done, in which I picked up a bargain hockey shirt due to the Vancouver Canucks failure in the Stanley Cup play-offs. The evening was spent looking for a liquor store, which I eventually found, and again I sat infront of the tv watching the ridiculous amount of crime shows that appear to be on tv with the same crew as last night. Despite wanting to go out with the South African crew, if only to hear more of the racist apartheid rants, I declined, as my third week would be kicking off with a trip to the skiing resort of Whistler

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