PREVIOUS YEARS ENTRIES FROM THE DIARY:

AUGUST 2006

Tuesday 29/08/06

Oh glory days. This weekend has been one of the best in 2006, largely thanks to Sussex's victory in the Cheltenham and Gloucester Final at Lords. A day which consisted of much drinking, suits, expensive pies, straw hats on Underground Lines, missed trains and ultimately Sussex parading  the trophy around  the  real home of cricket. All of that can be enjoyed by your good self's on the Sussex Barmy Army page

Friday was spent with a fine evening of entertainment at Tom Stills house. I would like to offer my congratulations to him for becoming a man with the passing of his 18th birthday, and also for hosting a superb evening of drinking which completed by first day of Bank Holiday consumption. Sunday saw this consumption continue, as I treated Charlie to not only the delights of a Brighton and Hove Albion game, which ended in a 4-1 defeat, but a night in Burgess Hill. This began in Mooch for 80's night, before ending at Burgess Hill Cricket Club, where a silly amount of alcohol was consumed by Burgess Hills Favourite Minor Celebrity

As you are now aware, it has been a productive weekend. Monday was spent doing nothing, and today I prepare for another session of hard graft at work, followed by giving several elderly gentleman the honor of playing Association Football with my good self, as I partake in Andy Collins Tuesday night Old Man Football

And finally for your enjoyment, here are McCarthy and Kane on Southern Counties Radio after the recent 2-1 defeat away at Nottingham Forest

Friday 25/08/06

Listeners, Scott McCarthy is pleased to report that he is currently rather happy. I am not sure what to put this down to - whether it is the shenanigans that have been taking place at work recently, from an exploding kettle, a leaking fridge or just the fact that water is flooding the computer system. It may be down to the fact that this weekend harbors the first real opportunity for Scott McCarthy to be in what Bert Lloyd once termed a "Scott State" for the first time in well over a month. Or it may simply be the fact that this Sunday, I will be introducing Charlie to the joys of Withdean Stadium and Brighton and Hove Albion

So, the past week has been one spent doing very little productively. Tuesday was a day of work, rounded off by McCarthy and Ian Simpson taking in a rather amusing game as Burgess Hill Reserves beat Haywards Heath Reserves. Wednesday, and the animal in McCarthy escaped, as I made my footballing return after 4 weeks injured in a third team friendly away at Horsted Keynes. So, if the person whose collarbone I happened to break is reading this, I apologise profoundly for the incident. In poor light, McCarthy was rather slow off his line, and ended up scathing some bloke down in the area, before hearing an almighty crack. To be honest, I have no idea how I managed to do such damage, but offer my sincerest apologies nonetheless. Wednesday night was spent with a pizza and the wife

But more importantly, the weekend - what does it harbor. Well minions, being a bank holiday, it means a traditional bank holiday event - the 4 day drinking marathon. Beginning today at 2pm, I will hit the Weald and kick off this traditional event that has lead to many many embarrassing situations in the past - from crippling my back when falling out of a shopping trolley, to having to be taken home in the boot of a car, these weekends have become infamous in the drinking stakes. Tonight I will travel to Tom Stills humble abode, to celebrate his 18th birthday - and congratulations to Thomas for reaching this milestone. Then, tomorrow drinking commences at 7am with a Full English Breakfast, when McCarthy will be on it all day for the big one - the Cheltenham and Gloucester Trophy Final at Lords. Sunday is the traditional Mooch 80's night, in which I will be treating the wife to a night in the Hill, and Monday drinking plans are yet to be finalised. After a month off of the alcohol, there is no better way to announce to the world that Mac in back than a bank holiday. Things are going to get MESSY!

Monday 21/08/06

Well minions, it has been a weekend of mixed fortunes for Burgess Hills Favourite Minor Celebrity. Friday night was a wonderful occasion, starting when myself and Charlie had to go to the library. This was in order of the fact that she needs to get books, unsurprisingly for university. However, the trip was about as productive as a man who has had a vasectomy, as we found no books at all and just ended up lying on some cushion thing, before placing a rubber glove into an unsuspecting book, ready and waiting to be opened by a fellow library goer. After a swift pint in the Weald, it was time for Charlotte to return home for a party, with McCarthy all set to watch Big Brother in the pub. However, soon the phone call came - DEMANDING Scott McCarthy go to the party. After a bit of dithering over whether to make an unbooked public appearance, I decided to go, and was rather glad I did as there was a spit roast on offer. I would therefore like to offer my congratulations to Mr Jordan Smith - not only for this fine piece of initiative, not only for turning 18, but most importantly of all for having the foresight and the vision to get a keg of Dark Star Ale in - and dare I say it, it rivals Harveys in the real ale stakes

Saturday was a day spent in Nottingham, for a Crocs on Tour outing which of course is on-line. Sunday and Charlie was again treated to the company of myself, as we went to Brighton, and ended up buying a dashing wedding present for her sister. We also ended up going to a Sand Sculpture Exhibition, which is also on-line in the Adventures Section. The day ended with near death through hypothermia on the beach, but luckily I am proud to report I, and as far as I am aware Mrs Mac are still alive

There is bugger all planned for the coming week in all reality - but this Saturday sees the Sussex Barmy Army in a trip to Lords - and the chance for silverware. It will be simply arousing

Friday 18/08/06

Minions, the last few weeks have been productive on an untenable level. McCarthy has done much, including purchasing these bad boy trainers:

Yes minions, they are bright green and made by Nike. Inspired by the legendary trainers of my good pal John Hewitt, I too decided to go for something outrageous with this little number. They are sexy, sophisticated and a most have accessory - much like the lovely Charlie, who all you female listeners will be disappointed to hear has stolen me away from the clutches of so many of you. For this I apologise, but I would point you in the direction of who must surely now be Burgess Hills most eligible bachelor - the man, the myth, the legend, the only ROBERT JONES. If any young women out there would like to be put in touch with Robbie, please feel free to pass your details onto myself and I will ensure he gets them

So, the last week has been emotional. I have continued my record of staying at other peoples house, with the Van Den Boomen household supplying a sofa this time for McCarthy, after I polished off 3 bottles of the families wine. For this I apologise, but I feel I more than made up for it by walking the family dog, doing a selection of house work and partaking in their grocery shopping.

On Sunday, I did my part for the community by joining Charlie in helping out with one of her special children that she does such a sterling job of looking after. This involved sitting their for a painfully long time while they ate McDonalds, then a trip to the Triangle, where I got to catch up with the lovely Faye who was in charge, and she even gave me the chance to have a go on the soft play equipment that the Antics facility uses. It was simply amazing, even if it did mess my back up a right treat, and I would therefore like to offer my full thanks to the young Miss Buttery for her hospitality

Tuesday I enjoyed another 18th birthday celebration, as my drama partner Andy Lee celebrated becoming a man. My favourite geek threw a superb party, involving a BBQ, a trampoline and beer. Needless to say McCarthy was ruined, and ended up losing his recent ear piercing in a wrestling match with Chris Gault. However, I have since replaced it with something far more 'bling', which I feel is quite remarkable despite the disparagement of most of my fans

Wednesday saw England v Greece, and I again viewed the event in the flesh, including two goals from the 198cm tall love machine, Peter Crouch. All images are available in the adventures section. Tomorrow sees the first Crocs on Tour outing of the season, as a record number of 6 Crocs make the trip to Nottingham for the big game against Forest.

Oh, and I suppose I should mention I am into University after getting BBBC in my A Levels. Not that I am that bothered about it

Wednesday 09/08/06

Another Brighton game, another three points - this time beating Gillingham 1-0 at home thanks to Jake Robinson. Bring on Brentford on Saturday. Life appears to be dominated by the said sport of football currently, with McCarthy also playing in Preston Park tomorrow evening. This game will see the legendary Old Varndeanians Youth Galacticos of McCarthy, Tom Witham and Tom Stewart lining up together for the first time in over 2 years, as Team Croc take on North Stand Chat. It will be a game not to be missed, so get yourself down to the park for a 7pm kick off. Then, Saturday sees Brighton v Brentford, while next Wednesday is the big one - Scott McCarthy and family return to Old Trafford to see England v Greece, the first game of whoever the new captain will be, and Steve McLarens first in charge of the national team. Joining us for this day will be CHARLIE (look, another mention!), who will be viewing her first life football game. A full review will of course take place on this fine site

In other news, plans for Scott McCarthy Day XIV, now only 2 months away, are in the early stages. This years celebrations fall on Tuesday October 10th, and with no college the opportunity is there for an all day event. Of course, there will be an "evening out" on the weekend, but on the actual anniversary of my birth a bigger event is planned. It is all rather hush hush, all I will say is it could involve the word "golf"

Today has been eventful - for the second year running we spent ages looking for a birthday present for Mrs Lane, and for the second year running it ended up being vouchers we bought. We were then very nearly involved in a road accident as Doug stacked his car into a set of bushes in order to 'avoid' a lorry, but luckily we were able to keep going as opposed to dying. I now prepare myself to work the nightshift, from 10pm till 6am, giving all those lucky petrol hunters are pleasant surprise in the morning as they are served by Burgess Hills Favourite Minor Celebrity

And finally, the Sussex Barmy Army page now carries the images from the game over 2 weeks ago, along with the video of McCarthy and Oli Wright topless, live on Sky following the Hampshire game

Monday 07/08/06

To be honest, I would like to come out with some elaborate excuse as to why I have not updated in what must be now 3 weeks - something like a hand gliding accident, serving a spell in prison, fighting a civil war in South America, or maybe just 3 weeks chained up to Margaret Beckets bed. Alas, none of these have occurred, and it is simply my summer bone idleness that has lead to it

So, in recent weeks I have done precisely bugger all. Well, that is a lie. I have done some stuff, such as get horrendously drunk on Weston's Organic Cider, 4 bottles of it to be precise at 8.4% volume. It is events such as these that has lead to the Scott McCarthy Drink Limitation Programme, whereby I am attempting to limit my alcoholic intake. The results have been astonishing, as I was able to demolish my way through 4 main meals on Sunday, including a delightful pizza at CHARLIE HUMPHREYS house (highlighted in bold as she complained about the lack of mentions received on the site). The football season has returned, with Brighton surprisingly beating Rotherham 1-0 on the opening day. I have just realised that this update is by no means in chronological order, but never mind. Last Tuesday myself, Tom Witham and Neil Kane wrecked Brighton after our evening at the Event, where much alcohol was consumed. Pictures due to be on-line when Mr Kane has sent them over. Wednesday and I had Twiggy to thank for giving me a place to stay, as I was enrolled to her party. This saw myself and Bert stay mildly sober, as we filled up WKD bottles with water for unsuspecting customers, changed phone numbers in peoples mobiles so that when they attempted to call their parents/best friend, they actually dialed Scott McCarthy, and ultimately put a toy sheep into an oven:

I eventually fell asleep totally sober at around 1am in her conservatory, wearing her fathers post man uniform which was actually rather warm and comftable for the evenings sleep. The week before I again spent very little time at McCarthy Towers, as I have decided to experience how you mere peasants live. On Friday 28th July, it was the turn of Mike Newman to host McCarthy after a night of drinking in the Red Lion. Full credit to Mike, he turned out to an amicable host, and I was even treated to one of his legendary Bacon Sandwiches, complete with cheese - the likes of which I doubt I will taste again such was its splender. Here are my images from Michaels house:

Mark Potter slightly intoxicated	McCarthy looking pretty fine
Mike demolishing his way through a bacon sandwich

On the Saturday, it was the turn of one of my personal favourite hosts, James Calver, to show what he can do. No night at James' ever ends in disapointment, and having bumped into him in the Railway following a drinking session with Sailor, I was certain to be in for a good one. On the return to James, we did our traditional ideal of seeing what comical situations we could end up in. This time there was no sleeping in bushes or trolleys involved, just the attempted operation of an old fashioned tarmacking device:

On our arrival back at the Calver household, James dished up a lovely meal of fish fingers and pizza, and the customary emotional time of watching Magic 352 was enjoyed, before we slept, only to be rudely awoken by the return of sister Charlotte in the early hours from her night of clubbing. 

On Thursday, I went to the dogs with a group of fellow Brighton fans, and I took CHARLIE as my guest. Here she managed to lose countless amounts of cash until I took a firm hand of the metaphorical rudder of our betting ship, resulting in an £8 return for a £2 outlay on the last two races. CHARLIE also performed amicably in the 'rape game', which is now gaining mainstream popularity following its debut at the dog track at the start of the month. This game is simple in its quest, with the winner being the person who can shout rape the loudest without being questioned by a member of the public. Here are some images of the evening:

Number one was a fine specimen	This man soon gained cult status as 'retro nineties man', for his 94-95 Brighton away shirt and jacket. He was also incredibly ruined
This woman was in charge of checking the dogs, and had a nice rear	McCarthy, Tom Witham, Mark Funnell and Chris Clayton take each other from behind as retro man looks on
CHARLIE moves in in an attempt to find out more about retro man. He ends up supplying us with tips for the races - all of which lost	Who can resist this subtle technique from CHARLIE as we hope retro man will join us
CHARLIE has her photo with retro man

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