PREVIOUS YEARS ENTRIES FROM THE DIARY:

AUGUST 2007

Friday 17/08/07

Is it a coincidence? The nation of Great Britain experiences lovely weather as McCarthy returns to his homeland. Yes people, I have been back in the Hill for a week now, and extensive maintenance work has been carried out on the site since my return. Coupled with several hours on the golf course, several hours eating, a game of cricket, Crocs on Tour commitments, re-acquainting myself with the Weald and even more eating, and I feel this can cover my lack of updates

Since setting foot in Browns England for the first time, I have been overwhelmed with the response to my return. On Friday night, a mini-riot nearly broke out as I stepped into Jacobs Post alongside Robert Jones, and there was a similar reaction when I made my long awaited return to Pulse. On Saturday, extra door staff were hired by The Walkabout in Brighton, as thousands from the city attempted to get a view, a picture, maybe even a kiss from McCarthy, with very few being lucky enough to do so

The report from my Canadian tour will be added bit-by-bit, and Burgess Hillians are warned to make the most of McCarthy while they can - for in a months time he will depart again, this time to set up the Gloucestershire branch of the company with his move to Cheltenham. 

Saturday 04/08/07

With a mere 4 days remaining until my triumphant return to the greatest country on Earth, I felt it was an appropriate time for my final update from the land of our colonial cousins. Firstly, I would like to confirm rumours that, for a two-day period, I had turned deaf. This was caused by a seeming wax blockage caused in my ears through the use of ear plugs, a necessity due to the snoring occurred in hostels, most notably from those men of an Asian dissent. My initial attempts to clear my ear using a pen managed to only push the blockage back further, making me completely deaf in my right ear. However, a combination of a purchasing of some ear drops, and a fantastic piece of advice from Daniel Collin, which consisted of ignoring the don't stick things in your ear rule, which culminated in the using of an ice cream spoon to remove the blockage

I feel this, which will probably be my final entry, would be a good time to sum up my thoughts on my 4 months here in Canada. During this Minor Celebrity tour, I feel I have summed up the time unbiasedly - I have painted the image of the sheer magnitude of the beauty of Niagara, while not being hoodwinked into omitting the mentions of the ridiculous public transport I have been subjected you.

In order to save the positives for my full review of the trip, which will be completed on my return to England, I will focus on the negatives here. Firstly, the overused, and quite frankly ridiculous statement of "We are nothing like Americans". The simple facts are, Canadians sound just like Americans, they have the biggest proportion of obese people in the world ahead of the states, adverts are the most frequently viewed item on the television, their national sports are the same, and they both sing their national anthems before every sporting event. Most tellingly though, is that in virtually every place where there is a Canadian national flag flying, there is an American one alongside it. I found this completely incomprehensible - it would be like the British flag being flown alongside a French flag, which I would consider a sickening experience

I feel I have been over the public transport system enough times to enforce the point about how ineffective it is. However, people seem to except it as a decent standard, which suggests to me that Britain's is one of the best in the world

The major thing that has got my goat on the trip though has been the taxes. For everything you do here, you give a large portion to the government. A few exampled being, when you buy any form of bottled product, you pay a bottle tax. If you dare to order a take away in McDonalds, you pay a take out tax. And most outrageously of all, if you want to spend an evening at the cinema, you have to pay an entertainment tax. Despite all of this income the government is making, there doesn't seem to be any form of welfare on offer, as is shown by the fact that on average I have seen homeless people in one night in the major cities than I have in my entire lifetime of visiting the greatest capital in the world - London

While all of these negatives make it appear as though I may not have enjoyed my time here, I am afraid this cannot be further from the truth, as will be revealed once McCarthy's day-by-day diary is published. The best way I feel to describe these negatives being focussed on is simply that I believe I come from the greatest country, and from the many people of different nationalities I have met throughout my travels, this view has been confirmed - 90% of them want to travel to England. Be it our history in the British Empire ruling the world, our first modern democratic parliament, our monarchy, our dedication to the abolishment of slavery, our forefathers populating the majority of the developed world, our invention of the worlds most used language, or our great technological advancements

I look forward, albeit slightly begrudgingly, to setting foot into Gordon Browns Britain for the first time on Thursday, at the completion of an overwhelmingly successful trip, that has taught me one vital lesson - while you can take McCarthy out of Britain, you can't take Britain out of McCarthy.

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