Friday 27/02/2004

Oh dear! I think I may have discovered one affect of my sleeping experiment - memory of loss. Its scary, but I can't remember talking to someone on Saturday, or speaking the Chappers even last night. It can't be good.

McCarthy Industries has been approached to provide some entertainment at an up and coming Oakmeeds event. We are currently planning what we will be providing. It should be entertaining though!

Today, I got my photo with Mr Wilmore! More on the Year 11 Pictorial! There was something else I was going to report, but I forgot it.

Monday 23/02/2004

FIRE! There was complete catastrophe today at Oakmeeds when the bogs were set on fire. See more HERE

Latest on re-setting my body clock is not good. Spent Yesterday in as I didn't feel too good. Infact, I was knackered. However, I didn't give up, and  I am still knackered. Last night I limited my sleep from 1-7, a total of 6 hours. This was no problem during half term, but now we have returned to school I am feeling tierder by the minute. However, I will continue this fight. No matter how much tea I have to drink, I will not sleep till 1 again tonight, and I will be up at 7 in the morning.

Bad news is that tommorrow after school Oakmeeds take on St Pauls at The Oakmeeds Stadium in a game of football with yours truly playing. This will be the real test as to whether I can cope with this adjustment to my way of life, as Oakmeeds search for there first win in god knows how long. Fingers crosses people!

Saturday 21/02/2004 AM

Half term has been good. I have been to London, Brighton, won an eating contest, been locked in a room for 3 hours and cling filmed up a car. Not bad for a weeks work!

Yesterday was eventful. Got locked in a room at one of my mates houses in Brighton when he shut the door and the door handle came off. Locked in for 3 hours. I also won an eating contest at pizza hut. More on that at BIG DAY OUT

I have also decided I am going to attempt to re-set my body clock. As stupid as this may sound, I have decided it is a worthwhile cause. I also believe that if it is successful, I will be able to limit the amount of time I sleep, so I will have more time to cram fun and exciting stuff into my schedule. Currently I am working on setting my sleeping time till 1AM. Then, when this is achieved I will make it 30 minutes later each fortnight, and will hopefully still be able to make my waking time on a school day of 7.30. I will then attempt to make my waking up time earlier, to around 6.45 so I can take in some breakfast. If all goes according to schedule, I am aiming to spend one week of the summer holidays as a nocturnal human! I have no idea of the long term effects of this, but I guess there's only one way to find out!

I also almost broke my leg last night. During my attempt to re-set my body clock, I was reading a classic novel in my bedroom called "My Teacher is an Alien". Feeling a bit peckish, I headed downstairs for some cheese. I didn't bother to turn the lights on, and as a cause after only 2 steps taken, I lost my footing, and fell the remaining 11 steps. This wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't of landed on my already bruised back. However, the major problem came when I hit my head on the small heater at the bottom of the stairs. It took a good 10 minutes for me to regain full vision and for my head to stop spinning. I decided to stay downstairs after this incident, and managed to stay awake till 4 in the morning by watching an interesting documentary on UK History about "Farming in the 16th Century". Riveting stuff!

Monday 16/02/2004

I love half term. Today involved me sitting on my ass playing Championship Manager, watching Ghostbusters The Movie and eating ice cream. Excellent. That is all I have to report.

And Friday nights events are told in all their glory HERE by the legendary Peter Chapman

Sunday 15/02/2004 (Including Fridays Events)

I am reporting to you the events of this evenings outings. It started with a trip to the Triangle for some badminton. Here you can see Scott crammed into a bus and an ambulance:

 It was then on to Mike's house, before enjoying a few bottles of wine and onwards to Peter Chapman's! We had planned to cover his car in cling film, but made a few mistakes. 1) We hadn't remembered a torch, so had to attempt to open the cling film using poor street lighting. 2) It was cheap Wilko stuff, that tore easily. 3) There wasn't enough light to get pictures, and the flash would've given us away. 4) Have you ever tried cling filming up a car after drinking a bottle of wine!

Anyway, we managed to cover up the drivers door and passengers door, the wing mirrors and attach the back windscreen wiper to a traffic cone. There were a few hiccups however, as at one point a shaddowy figure appeared at the door, causing Mike and Jamie to leg it. At that time, I was fetching a roll from under the car, and was stuck with no means of escape, so crawled underneath. It wasn't the most pleasant experience. In the end, after nearly an hour of work (or attempted work), we gave up, when 2 people caught us and said they were calling the police. We grabbed what we had, and legged it back to the Fletcher Family Residence. Waiting to see Peter Chapman's take on events, but here's a picture of what we started with at McCarthy Towers:

And what we finished with at the Fletcher Family Residence:

Nothing happened on Saturday, as I rolled back to McCarthy Towers at about 11am, after a total of 16 hours out. Took it easy, and achieved promotion on Championship Manager 03/04 with Brighton to Division One, after beating QPR 2-1 in the play-off final. And today, my return to the Burgess Hill Town Under 18's team was ruined when the game was called off, so instead I enjoyed a quiet of game of football up Fairfield Rec with Mike and Gary Harding. Bumped into Peter Chapman, who had un-cling filmed his car as well.

Looking forward to Chapper's events of the weekend! I'll let you know when I have them!

Friday 13/02/2004

Today has been good. We got Chapman again, I almost got murdered by Milo, His dog, when I thought he was going for me. In truth, he was obviously just pleased to see another local celebrity apart from Peter Chapman. However, I still rolled onto the bonnet of the Chap Mobile, and posed for a few pictures. You can view these pictures HERE

The fire bells were ringing again at school today. Its becoming an Oakmeeds tradition, like the changing of the guard, the ringing of the bells. Got a nice ring to it. Played countdown in the library with a whiteboard, did a bit of stair rolling, nothing else to report. Hope to head out later tonight, but we'll wait and see on that!

Thursday 12/02/2004

Beaten! Caburn lost the Top House Quiz on a tie-breaker! A bloody tie-breaker! "How many tiles in a game of Scrabble?" What sort of a bloody question is that! I mean, who in there right mind counts tiles in a game of scrabble! I wouldn't mind losing to a question that is have decent, like: "What was the name of Henry VIII Eldest Son?", but scrabble? It is a total and utter piss take. Bring back Franksy and his questions! At least they were half decent!

Also today, we placed another sign on the Chap Mobile. Find out Peter Chapman's thoughts on the matter HERE. Also, see the pictures of what we did to the famous car yesterday HERE

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Another classic from the legendary Mr Vincent. In theory PE, we're dealing with women in sport. Famous for his ridiculous examples, this one took the biscuit: "For a long time, women weren't allowed to do certain sports, such as triple jump" Someone pipes up with: "Why Sir?" Mr V's response to this is classic: "Ermmmmmm, incase they break their womb or something"

Wednesday 11/02/2004

Evening all! Good news is that McCarthy Industries has now updated to broadband! Ho ho I hear you cry! It has been eventful since I last wrote to you lucky fans. A lot has happened, including plans for a new branch of Mac Industries. You'll have to wait and see on that one! Today, I placed the sign back on Peter Chapman's windscreen, put the stick back in his bumper, placed a small tile on his bonnet and this time placed the cone on top of the car. Chappers then proceeded to come out and photograph us. Hoping to see those photos appear soon on Burgess Hill Sucks! Tomorrow is the big day: Caburn have the opportunity to win the Top House Quiz for the first time in god knows how long! And guess who's the captain! That's right, its me! So be prepared for Caburn to, as always, get in a great position, then end up cocking it up. Oh well! Also, look out for a well known landmark to soon be decorated Mac Industries style! Talks are well underway about a joint Mac Industries-Burgess Hill Sucks football team to enter the Burgess Hill summer festival tournament this year. We'll keep your posted!

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Sitting in an ever entertaining maths lesson. Someone who shall not be named stated: "Condom's are gay. Lucky I don't have to wear one" This was followed by the response, from a young lady, of: "Is you girlfriend on the pill then?" Before this unknown man had the cnhace to respond, Ashley Johnson jumped in and said: "No, he's not fertile" Brilliant stuff!

Also, check this out:

Do you want to know the truth about HB penciles? For 17 years, the Green Party has been suppressing information from you about HB penciles and thus endangering the welfare of Friends of the Earth.

In November 1765, Maggie Thatcher met with Hitler in Havana to discuss womens right to strip. As it happens, they engaged in bitting fingernails and ended up hatching a plan involving the Quakers in The Faroe Islands.

As a result, all details of the meeting were suppressed, as was information about dealings with Tescos and their ties to manslaughters.

A report in the Evening Standard was mysteriously pulled from newsstands in february of last year. The article implicated high-ranking officials in the R.S.P.C.A, various grave diggers, and, perhaps not surprisingly, Sir Roger Moore. According to the report, passages in the book "Delia Smith: 100 things you can do with root vegetables" and lyrics in the village people 's music point to a connection between these individuals and HB penciles.

According to a spokesman at the Evening Standard, the issue was pulled because of printing errors. However, individuals who saw the original copies say that there were no printing irregularities and that the re-issue differed from the original only in the absence of this article.

The lies and deception must be stopped. Don't let the government hide the facts about HB penciles any longer. Learn the truth!

Make your own conspiracy theories, CLICK HERE!

Monday 09/02/2004

Well today has been interesting to say the least. Arrived at school to here the bells constantly ringing. They'd been buggered for days, but this was just taking the biscuit. After five minutes, we headed to the field for a fire drill. However, after being stuck out there for around 30 minutes and the bells still clearly ringing, there was obviously something wrong! After many pupils complaining of numb toes, and I myself even complained of trenchfoot and a possible gangrene condition, the teachers moved us all inside. However, we were sent to the sports hall, which apart from the fact it doesn't have central heating was great. The bells were finally fixed just under 2 hours after they started going off, and we returned to lessons.

However, this wasn't the end of it! Oh no! Only 15 minutes or so after they had been fixed, they were soon ringing again, as everyone left there classes, only for an irate head teacher to send us all back. They were eventualyl switched off, with a runner being sent if there was word of a fire, which I'm not sure is the safest idea, but who cares!

Myself and a team of students also discovered that the new park benches on the playground can hold a maximum of 14 people, although we will attempt to beat this number tomorrow. We also placed a rather large stick on Peter Chapman's car on the way home.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: In maths today, the hot topic was hair cuts. A young woman spoke: "I'd say yours is a three on top Phil". I decided to test this woman's knowledge: ""What would you say mine is?" She responded: "A five". My response to this: "You're wrong! It was a two, but that was when I had it cut, but it's grown!"

Monday 02/02/2004

Shocked and Disgusted! These are the only words I can use to describe the way I am feeling tonight. Why? That ignorant man that is Mr Schwarz had the nerve to confiscate the famous rubber chicken! In IT, Bert Lloyd took it out, threw it to myself as I had been sent out, and then he confiscated it! It is currently locked in a cupboard among many computers. But fear not, I will make it my mission to retrieve it!

Apart from that, it's been a pretty crap day. Myself and Chris mastered the art of rolling down stairs during a typically boring lunch hour. Hopefully we'll have some pictures for you tomorrow, and maybe eventually some movie footage! There might be some pictorial photo's from today, if Dean ever comes on-line and sends them to me! And finally, I captained Caburn to a famous victory of Adam Love's Firle in the Top House Quiz. Although it wasn't really difficult when the year sevens are getting general knowledge questions like "What colour is an English fire engine?"

Sunday 01/02/2004

What a weekend! Saturday morning was spent with the Blitzkrieg crew gathering photo's for their website. Unfortunately, it pissed it down, so it meant the photos where taken from the comfort of indoors. After a foray out to the chippy for lunch, it was time to return to McCarthy Towers, then head to Withdean for Brighton v Plymouth.

Anyone who saw it on TV would've been impressed. Plymouth hadn't conceded for 7 games, and were top of the table on their way to the title. However, it was all Brighton, and was comfortably won 2-1 through Leon Knight and Trevor Benjamin. Coupled with QPR losing, there is now a slim chance I could still win that bet with Chris! Fingers crossed.

Today has also been eventful. I have written my speech for English, which may appear on here later. However, the big news came when I got a small splinter lodged under my finger. It was stuck, and it wasn't going to budge. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and this meant filing my nail down with the handy file on my pen knife till it reached a very very low position, before picking the splinter out. It wasn't pretty, and unfortunately the area of nail where the splinter was lodged has turned white, which I believe means it is dead. The nail now stands at a total length of 3mm at its shortest point. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a photo, but if you wish to see it just ask!