PREVIOUS YEARS ENTRIES FROM THE DIARY:

FEBRUARY 2007

Wednesday 21/02/07

February has thus far been a month of grave indifference. Only one word can do it justice so far, and that word is "wreck-up" - McCarthy could easily denote this to be the heaviest month of his young and fruitful life thus far, even eclipsing the efforts of June and July 2006, the world cup and cricketing months.

It has seen James Calver be sick before even making it into town on one of his and McCarthys legendary nights, it has has seen the celebration of a Christening, it has seen McCarthy enter Code for the first two, and with any luck last two, times of his life - as it is a place that is too drinking what a shower is to Jews - horrible. It has seen McCarthy disgrace himself in Leicester, where he would like to place on record his thanks to the superb hospitality of Miss Avril Wilson, who provided Burgess Hills Favourite Minor Celebrity with the leading candidate so far in the "Evening of 2007" - an evening that saw McCarthy seemingly come close to breaking his previous drinking record, and even make friends with a group of Sikhs. Naturally, when Avril saw McCarthy chatting away at a bar to a bunch of fellas wearing turbans, then she assumed the worst and seemed to want to drag him away. But as it was, McCarthy was getting on like a house on fire with them, one even bought him a drink which was simply delightful. He managed to upset all manner of Northerners with "regionalist stereotypes", and then to top it all off he drove the three hours home at midday the next day - even giving his host a momentou of the day a Minor Celebrity stayed with her, in leaving his watch in her bathroom. Simply - incredible scenes!

The next few months will hold much of McCarthys future in them - for it comes down to completing his requests for loans and all manner of monetary devices for his foray into the world of the University Student, and it also sees him fly out of the country to make his journey across Canada. He has now decided to make it a "rash journey", which will see him travel this vast landscape via the medium of coaches, stopping off along the way to pay visits to fans that live in North America. He is expected to leave within the next two months, which will leave a huge void in the celebrity sphere of Burgess Hill - but one that McCarthy has no doubts can be easily filled by Peter Chapman, who will hope to take up the mantle of Favourite Minor Celebrity alongside his current title of Most Respected Minor Celebrity

Calver is sick before making it into town	McCarthy and one of his new Sikh pals from Leicester

Thursday 08/02/07

Well listeners, there has been a distinct lack of diary updates recently for all manner of reasons - mainly down to McCarthys increased work load, and a flurry of visits to different parts of the country

Having many close friends now scattered across Britain, McCarthy has taken it upon himself to spend time visiting these friends. In recent weeks, I have stayed in Portsmouth, where the Universities campus was terrorised by Witham, McCarthy and an air horn. I have also enjoyed the social highlight of 2007 so far, by partaking in a Gay Night in Guildford alongside Sara van den Boomenhousen. While the details of the said night are a bit hazy, it involved 3 bottles of the infamous "cricket drink" of Westons 8.4% Organic being drunk, along with several pints and a "boat race" of tequila shots with a charming man whom I was introduced to called Toby. He came from Devon, and needless to say stereotypes involving farmyard animals and Ambrosia where banded about before we did around 10 shots in a row. This, needless to say, ended in McCarthy being a total mess yet again, and luckily the night remains much of a blur, despite young Saras somewhat farcical claims of what I was doing

A week previous to this was another particularly heavy weekend, as Scott McCarthy and Peter Chapman decided to take the opportunity to celebrate Australia Day by winning a set of free hats for their Fosters consumption. Now, as most people know, McCarthy cannot stand Fosters, however, after several pints of cider this drink, more commonly known as the Devils spawn, became somewhat bearable. No doubt these hats will be auctioned off at some point for a vast sum of money, which will claim to be sent to charity when in actual fact it will end up in the pockets of a set of buearocrats:

While enjoying a night out with Peter is always good, the evening was overshadowed by what I experience on my journey home - namely as I skipped down Royal George Road, I heard a man behind me shout "Scott McCarthy", followed by a small argument between two people. Thinking I may be required to pile in and break up a fight, I stopped to see what the commotion was about - only to be recognised by someone I had never met in my life. This chap, who I now know to live several houses up the road from me, had been arguing with a young lady friend as to whether it was infact Scott McCarthy skipping in front of them. And it was. As all good celebrities do, I tried to engage in conversation with the fan, asking him how he knew me, and his response was astonishing - I had been seen on Youtube, then people had followed to this very website. Wishing to go home and retire to bed, I cut short our conversation with the immortal line of "If you want anything signed just drop it over and leave it with my secretary", before heading home

The next evening I found out the other side of the celebrity coin, when I was brutally attacked. After indulging in several drinks at Matthew Woods establishment, including what can only be described as a petroleum-based Swiss vodka, we hit Brighton. Eventually, I ended up separated from the group with whom I had traveled, and found myself in the Event alongside such established drinkers as Tom Green and Spencer "sick on the sofa" Slaughter. By the end of the night, I was back in a taxi home with Ian Simpson, with the shocking revelation that I had infact been punched in the face, and had a large cut under my chin. Someone was obviously jealous of my fame, fortune and boyish good looks and had decided to take it out on me - shocking scenes

Last night saw McCarthy and family visit Old Trafford for England v Spain, which you can see in the Adventures section, while this weekend promises to be another of fun and frolic as the Crocs brave the Arctic conditions currently gripping England to travel to Brentford to see Brighton no doubt lose yet again

Finally, while browsing through a womens magazine at work, as you do, I came across this Spot the Difference competition:

Now don't get me wrong, I love these sorts of events - but I love them for the challenge of spotting a difference, not for becoming so glaringly obvious that they have changed one of the characters face colours in it. What is the world coming to?

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