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Tuesday 19/06/07
Never in my lifetime did I think
that I would witness anything as beautiful, as majestic or as inspiring as the
view I get every time I look in the mirror. But minions, I have. For yesterday I
spent the day at Niagara Falls, and there really are few words that can do it
justice
The rainbow it creates as the water smashes into the rocks below, the sound of
thousands of gallons falling over the edge, the spray that encompasses the area
- it is a fantastic location. Taking the Maid of the Mist boat allowed Niagara's
Favourite Minor Celebrity to get up close and personal, and saw one of the most
magical moments in the history of mankind. It is not everyday that arguably the
greatest natural wonder in the world comes face-to-face with a waterfall, but
that occurred yesterday as I was able to feel the spray on my face, reach out
and touch the rainbow, unfortunately minus pot of gold, and pull all manner of
poses at one of the most famous sights in the world
So inspired has McCarthy been,
that he is going back next week for an overnight stay in the order to see the
falls at night, when they are completely lit up. This will also allow for a far
greater exploration of the city of Niagara and its "Disneyland" style
qualities, including the excellent WWE Shop, where I managed to pick up three
t-shirts yesterday. Unfortunately, the practicality of getting a life-size cut
out of Mr Kennedy back into the country means I will not be able to purchase
one, but I did settle for the satisfaction of my hands being a perfect fit to
the greatest wrestler to work in the WWE.
The remainder of this week will
see McCarthy relax in Toronto, with an appearance at this weekends Pride
festival - the biggest Gay event in the world no less - set to be confirmed. He
will also be taking in another set of Blue Jays games due to Toronto FC being
out of town thanks to the FIFA Under 20 World Cup, some of the games which I am
hoping to get too as well. This is unfortunate, as TFC are finally starting to
put a run together, defeating the league leaders FC Dallas 4-0 on Sunday, a
match at which McCarthy attended via a limousine for a bargain price of around
$40, which included a match ticket
Finally, fans in Britain will be delighted to know that McCarthy's return to the
greatest nation on Earth is now confirmed for Thursday August 8th. The delay has
been due to the acquisition of a ticket for Toronto FC v LA Galaxy, which is
rumoured to be one of the games earmarked for David Beckham's debut. Fear not
fans, rumours of the cancellation of the 2007 Annual McCarthy Industries BBQ
have been iron mongered by an unreliable source, and the event is very much on
despite the difficulty of planning it over the space of a 17 hour time
difference.
And finally finally, a very happy 18th celebration of the anniversary of his
birth to Kieran "The Ginger Prince" Elliott


Friday 15/06/07
Well readers, these last few days
have been the most action packed since my arrival in this nation. After leaving
Ottawa on Monday, a visit was taken to a training centre for houses used by the
Mounties. Unbelievably, and somewhat sickening, the racist traits of this
organisation was evident in that only black horses are used. I found this
sickening and wrong, and had to question the equality to white horses in this
organisation.
After this, it was off to partake in a bungee jump. This involved jumping off a
200ft high platform towards a lake at the bottom of an abandoned quarry. This
jump was called Great Canadian - with good reason. It is the tallest in the
Americas, and was voted in National Geographic Top 5 in the world. McCarthy,
being the epitome of manhood that he is, jumped second, and the decision to have
only a few beers the night before proved sensible, as otherwise it made have
been the contents of my stomach that also made the drop to earth. Needless to
say, it was an exhilarating experience, and one that I would do again if
finances allowed - unfortunately, they do not
Tuesday was filled with another extreme activity, in white water rafting down
the Ottawa River. This, obviously involved getting very wet, especially with
McCarthy offering to go at the front of the raft. He did fall out twice, once
while "surfing" a wave, then again as they dropped down a water-fall
section. Both times though he was retrieved, and the world did not suffer the
death of a second global figure in the space of two days following the tragic
demise of Vince McMahon on Monday night
Wednesday saw McCarthy join three
others in a camping adventure in the Algonquin National Park. This really was
wilderness camping - we were supplied with only a tent, a water purifier, a
hacksaw, a frying pan and a knife. Naturally, we took our own food and a crate
of beer, before being driven to a lake about 30 minutes from the nearest
settlement, from where we canoed another 45 minutes across a huge lake. Here, we
set up camp, among a labyrinth of mosquitoes, chipmunks, frogs and other
wildlife. Due to it being wilderness camping, the general idea is take only what
you need. This meant only one set of clothes in order to make room for the beer,
so when going for a swim in the lake, McCarthy showed off his Minor Celebrity
body in all its glory. After a quick nap, McCarthy undertook the role of chef,
which unfortunately saw joy turn to confusion, as he managed to undercook a
sausage and ensure one of the group had a digestive system resembling the big
dipper at Alton Towers - made even worse by the obvious lack of lavatory. After
taking suitable precautions to ensure bears did not come across our camp,
including hanging food 4 metres above ground and placing everything that would
have the odour of food and fire a good distance from the tent, we enjoyed the
sunset over the lake, the howling of wolves, the cry of moose and the stars at
night. It was simply the definition of "Marvellous scenes"
McCarthy is now back in Toronto, where the next few days are filled with
baseball, baseball and soccer ball. It is then off to Niagara, before deciding
where to travel to next - with Halifax or London being the leading candidates
thus far.

Sunday 10/06/07
McCarthy is in jail!
Unbelievable scenes, as Ottawa's Favourite Minor Celebrity has spent the last
three nights in a cell in the cities prisons. This, surprisingly, is not due to
an illegal activity such as J-Walking, but because he has paid his money to
spend his evenings in the nations capital in a former jail. This is rather
exciting, as it also is supposedly one of Canada's most haunted buildings. This
makes for great fun late at night, as was the case on Friday. Iain from York and
myself had had a superb evening of drinking and watching television in the
hostel, and at around 2am decided to do some exploration. With the hallways
dark, it was quite an experience, especially when we went up to the 8th floor,
which used to be Death Row. This also provided a great deal of opportunity to
scare people returning from a night on the town, as we hid in dark corners and
made whispering noises, loud bangs and at around 3am exaggerated foot steps.
Unfortunately, no ghosts are yet to be seen
Montreal proved a fine experience, although disappointingly the weather was
poor. This should not have been a problem though with the labyrinth of
underground passages - all 30km of them. However, with McCarthy having no clue
where he was going, more often than not it resulted in getting lost, and
appearing above ground further away than he had started. Montreal Impact v
Minnesota Thunder was also taken in at the local soccer ball stadium, which was
spookily reminiscent of Withdean - including the dire football on offer, the
lack of atmosphere and ultimately the rain and wind. The game was notable
however for firstly a beer tent getting blown onto the running track which
caused great amusement, and a set of Montreal fans gathering at the front of the
stand to celebrate the victory, only for the visitors to score a last minute
equaliser. Montreal also saw a visit to the Olympic Stadium and Biodome, where
animals habitats are recreated and they are allowed to 'roam free' so to speak.
Unfortunately, my exploration of the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve was cut short by
some completely flidish security guards, remarkably not recognising me
Since leaving Montreal, a safari has also been undertaken. This offered the
opportunity to feed the animals out of the bus windows, and these animals
included elk, moose and buffalo. Unfortunately, you were not allowed to feed the
bears, so we just settled for lobbing carrots out the window at them. Ottawa has
seen McCarthy explore the Canadian Parliament like the royalty that he is, and
last night very nearly saw an arrest occur as we were refused entry from a pub
for one of the clan not holding a valid ID. This was made even more bizarre
given the fact it was an Austrian - and hence EU issued - driving license, yet
they would accept my driving license - also EU issued. This resulted in a heated
debate, during which the police were supposedly called, simply because the
incompetent Canadian staff could not recognise Austria as a county
Tomorrow sees McCarthy move onto the Algonquin National Park, where all manner
of nature activities will take place, before returning to Toronto, then onto
what could prove to be the Jewel in the crown in the trip - Niagara Falls.
Tuesday
05/06/07
Well
listeners, since my last entry Montreal's Favourite Minor Celebrity has
continued his tour of this fine country. This has included delving into the
world of baseball, which I have found to be a thoroughly invigorating sport,
contrary to my previous believe of it being as much fun as colonic irrigation.
At a bargain $9 per ticket, you can't go wrong - and if the game doesn't live up
to expectations, then there is always the between innings entertainment to look
forward to. This varies from three giant chillies racing along the outfield, a
sing-along on the big screen, the "7th innings stretch", where
everybody literally gets up and stretches, and McCarthy's personal favourite,
the "Energiser fan of the game", where the person doing the craziest
dancing on the big screen wins some free stuff. Needless to say, I have now been
to three games for the Toronto Blue Jays, and have found them to be excellent.
My sporting adventures also extended to the world of wrestling, when I witnessed
the taping of Saturday Night Main Event and WWE Raw at the Air Canada Centre. My
chance of making it onto TV was all but destroyed though when I managed to spell
"Khali" wrong for my sign - unbelievably missing out the "A"
Following a delightful tour of the Steam Whistle Brewery, I have moved on from
Toronto into the world of French Canada. However, joy turned to confusion, as
with five minutes till the bus arrived, I just woke up. This of course lead to a
mad rush, which has seen me lose my second pair of sunglasses on the trip.
However, once on the journey I have toured the Thousand Islands in-between
Canada and America, where that delightful cumber accompaniment Thousand Island
sauce was created no less, and visited Quebec City. It was here I met the crazy
French tour guide Paul, whose screaming at random people out of the window and
general ineptitude behind the wheel had me both amused and fearing for my life.
Quebec proved to be a fine place, only degraded by the distinct Frenchship of
the place, but a fine Saturday night out was had there, including the discovery
of the delightfully named "La Finde Du Monde" (The End of the World),
a 9% beer. This did indeed prove to be the end of the world for my drinking
partner Iain from York, as he ended up being sick into a pint glass at around
1am, much to the amusement of myself
Whale watching has been completed, but unfortunately this turned out to be
pretty disappointing, as only a few whales were seen, and given my poor record
on your normal ferry, going out in freezing cold water on a speed boat resulted
in McCarthy spending the whole time trying not to reveal the contents of his
stomach. Being Scott McCarthy, I have managed to secure a number of free and
discounted things lately - these include a pitcher of beer for myself in
Montreal, costing only $6, which works out around 3 pounds for four pints, two
free vodka and cokes in the same city, and ultimately a free meal in a mountain
lodge when I just sat down and was supplied with three courses of French cuisine
without paying. I have also seen my first beaver of the trip, in the form of a
creature swimming in a lake
A few days are now being spent in Montreal, where it is Grand Prix week so there
are various other celebrities around and a whole host of ridiculously nice cars.
I will be attending the Circuit de Gilles Villeneuve tomorrow in order to have a
look around, following today's planned activities that are visiting the stadium
and Olympic Park from the 1976 games, then possibly watching Montreal take on
Minnesota in a game of soccer ball. Then on Thursday, my journey takes me
onwards to Aloquin Park, where camping is under consideration, a bungee jump and
onwards to the nations capital of Ottawa
Finally, I would like to offer my full congratulations to Peter Chapman for
being the first one of us to be threatened with legal action. Many considered it
likely to be McCarthy for the somewhat derogatory comments about non-English
people that crop up from the time to time, but Peter has gone one better and
managed to upset one of the biggest companies in the UK. For this, I salute him!
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