PREVIOUS YEARS ENTRIES FROM THE DIARY:

MARCH 2007

Sunday 25/03/07

Well minions, a shocking lack of updates this month would seemingly denote the fact that it has been a busy one - infact, nothing could be further from the truth. A simple combination of working, alcohol consumption and general bone idleness explains the lack of updates of recent weeks. With my digestive system problems reaching a new high today - with nothing solid being passes out of my system, has really been the highlight of recent weeks

The main news is that after in-depth discussions with the Canadian Embassy, McCarthy has finally set a date for his tour of North America. He leaves the British Isles at the end of April, spending around 3 months with our foreign friends, before flying back to England in July. This obvious throws all manner of complications into the normal summer schedule, including the 2007 McCarthy Industries Annual BBQ. This means it will have to be moved back from its original berth of June/July, to August. However, this does give time for a new dance competition trophy to be found, after last years was stolen by Doug Lane, enraged that he had not won the competition

Seeing as it has been so long since my last entry, I have decided to allude to the classic saying of "A picture tells a thousand word", and present the recent events in a pictorial format

Random large women who made a fine candidate in Pull a Pig	McCarthy does his now-traditional charge down traffic bollard
Twiggy was given the honor of a night out with Burgess Hills Favourite Minor Celebrity	Chapman and Gordon Ramsay
Dougie Lane is back on the beer after his recent operation in the refurbished Potters	McCarthy takes it all in in the fine surroundings of the Potters
Lane manages to break one of the pool lights by hitting his head on it in the Potters	Binstead enjoys himself in a pub in Brighton for Mark Potters birthday
Matthew Lane enjoys an evening in Pulse	A women who we found to be rather friendly
McCarthy and Lane own the Pulse dance floor	A young lady who and the honor of being walked home by these two fine men
The bath room in the fine residence where McCarthy found himself sleeping on Saturday night	Bas Savage is a black bastard - and now he has his name embalmed on the back of McCarthys shirt

Monday 05/03/07

Our entry into March means the quarter point of the year being reached, and the past two weekends have seen McCarthy declare Pulse as arguably his favourite night spot in town. The fact that this establishment is packed full of older women means a guaranteed kiss virtually every night - for these women are old, single and therefore desperate - especially when you consider two frequent visitors in recent weeks have been McCarthy and Chapman, which, unsurprisingly has seen a surge in the number of customers the place is drawing in

It began last week, when McCarthy and Chapman ventured to Pulse after picking up some women in Jacobs. There was great amusement in the building when, at the end of the night, one women claimed to have fallen over and broken her knee. Being the kind, considerate gentleman that we are, we just stood and laughed at her, even going as far as to take a photo of this damsel, mother to three children no less, in a complete state on the dance floor:

Friday night saw McCarthy treat a young lady to an evening at the China Garden, in what he can only describe as a disaster. When will Burgess Hills Favourite Minor Celebrity find a lovely lady who can keep up with him in the drinking stakes, without becoming a complete disaster to get home. Answers on a post card, but on the plus side he did gain 4 of Lees famous DVD's for the collection, which should see me through those lonely nights

This Saturday saw Peter overwise engaged in bed, with himself, so McCarthy decided to treat two youngsters to an evening out with himself, in Kieran Elliott and Twiggy. It was a delightful evening, but Twiggy continued her fine record with men by going after another complete wierdo, much to the amusement of her accompanying party. Kieran too got in on the act, as he managed to get a dance with a woman who was not a day under 50:

It is unknown what this week holds for McCarthy, as his trip abroad looms ever closer. This has seen Alison McCarthy go out of her way to buy all manner of new clothing devices for myself, some of which are rather delightful. In other news, I have discovered an incestual relationship for chilled Ribenna, a fetish of which I am unsure of its origins. I will report back when I am aware of more

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