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Billed
as the game to get their season “back on
track”, the Hamsters went out all guns blazing
against The Tribe (formerly Parkour) who arrived
with an improved side since their last outing at
the cage. However, they came up against a
desperate Hamsters side determined to make
amends for recent poor results and with a very
attacking line-up named by Scott McCarthy it
seemed as though defeat was not an option.
And
so it was, as the Hamsters started very brightly
looking to get themselves on the score sheet
early on. With Collin running rings round a
frustrated Tribe defence and Tom Witham using
his immense size to his advantage, it appeared
as though The Tribe had failed to realise the
danger of the rest of the Hamsters side. This
lead to Hamsters veteran Bert Lloyd claiming the
first of the evening with a typically powerful
run and shot to beat Hamsters legend Robert
Jones’ brother, Christian, in the Tribe goal.
Before
the game there was hype of whether Peter Chapman
would have his scoring boots on after a mini
goal drought. His best chance came after a mazy
run and cross from Collin found Chapman quite
literally an inch from the goal line. With no
goalkeeper to beat Chapman smashed the
ball……..well over the bar and perimeter
fence into Row Z!
However,
Hamsters did grab a second moments before
half-time as a lofted through ball bounced
neatly for Collin and, with Christian Jones
advancing, Collin showed his class by lobbing
the ball beautifully over the goalkeeper and
into the empty goal.
After
the break, the Hamsters turned it up a notch
with regards to their attack and it was Collin
again who provided the finish to another well
worked move and thus making it 3-0. Of course,
the increase in attack meant the Hamsters were
left short at the back and it cost them as The
Tribe moved swiftly up the pitch on the
counterattack to beat on-loan keeper Oli Wright.
Fortunately,
the 3-goal advantage was restored as Chapman
broke his goal duck with a tidy finish. Perhaps
most interestingly about this goal was the
celebration. With media speculation rife with
reports of footballers partaking in lewd,
homosexual acts, Peter Chapman swiftly dropped
his shorts revealing his skimpy underwear. Was
this a subtle message from Chapman or were his
shorts just chafing?
Then,
moments later the Cage saw a moment of sheer
magic. Usually you would probably go to a circus
to see monkeys do tricks, but you only needed to
visit the Hamsters Cage to see our very own Kev
the Ape jinxing his way through the opposition
defence before rifling home a spectacular left
footed finish. However, the Hamsters were undone
again minutes later as The Tribe bagged their
second of the evening.
With
the Hamsters still throwing players forward into
attack they were looking lethal. Even Scott
McCarthy had the audacity to surge forward and
his strike came crashing off the post. Shortly
after this, debutant Liam Austin, on-loan from
Boston, was brought on with the challenge from
manager McCarthy to get on the score sheet.
Rather cleverly McCarthy did not put money on
this as it was a ‘dead cert’. Straight after
coming on, Austin drove through the Tribe
defence with the ball, beating player after
player before netting a magnificent debut goal
to make it 6-2. But again this did not kill off
a spirited Tribe side who fought tirelessly
before getting their third of the evening.
Unfortunately,
it was a defensive mistake that gifted the
Hamsters their seventh and Collin’s third goal
of the evening. Under pressure from Witham, a
Tribe defender knocked the ball right across the
face of goal to Collin who found himself six
yards out and one-on-one with Christian Jones.
This is what is known as meat and drink for the
long haired striker. Following the goal, Collin
ran straight to strike partner Tom Witham and,
not wanting to be left out of the speculation of
gay footballers, they indulged in a hugely
homo-erotic celebration and were quickly joined
by Scott McCarthy.
However,
the evening’s controversy did not end there.
Another matter which has been highlighted very
recently in the footballing world is the call
for technical equipment to aid referees
decisions. And it was Hamsters manager McCarthy
and striker Collin who demanded the introduction
of this equipment after a goal incident which,
in a more prominent game, could have proved
vital.
It
was Collin who after squirming through the
defence drilled a shot which seemed to catch the
inside of the post on its way into the goal.
But, during their celebrations, the players were
infuriated as the linesman adjudged the ball to
have gone through a hole in the side netting.
Though this would seemingly defy the laws of
physics considering where the ball ended up and
in conjunction with many players’ stories the
decision stands and the goal was disallowed.
However,
a very pleasing result and performance means the
Hamsters can look to the future in the hope that
they can go back to the glory days and finally
give the Hamsters faithful something to really
cheer about.
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